I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
