Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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