I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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