I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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