Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think my moral compass just broke
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