I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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