Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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