i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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