Got a toothbrush?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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