Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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