How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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