There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Do you still have your period?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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