did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
