I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
