What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize