How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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