problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
