Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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