you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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