You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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