I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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