I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
