on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
