I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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