Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
