I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
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I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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