did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
