the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
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You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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