Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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