I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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