I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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