You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
