I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
