I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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