well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
