Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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