I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just high enough for therapy.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
