I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
