While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
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so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
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Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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