butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
