Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
