shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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