its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
