I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
