do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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