it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
