And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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