I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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