I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
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They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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