Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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