singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
