it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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