I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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