But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
