STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
