I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ttyl tear gas
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
