Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I could fuck to npr.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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