mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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