I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We are two peas in an std pod
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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