i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
