I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
