just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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